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I just got a message from my typesetter.
It's finished!
My first novel - ready to be uploaded to Kindle Direct Publishing.
And it's been a L-O-N-G journey.
On October 31, 2014, I pitched an idea for a serialized novel to a Jewish children's magazine. They liked it, ran it for fifty-two weeks, and readers apparently loved it.
A huge win, right? Time to publish!
Except... I'm a perfectionist. Running as a serial was one thing. A book was serious business.
So I hired a copyeditor to tighten the plot and polish the characters. Progress!
Then - because aiming for the stars is my default setting - I submitted it for the Sydney Taylor Manuscript Award. If it won, I told myself, then I would know it was good enough to publish.
I didn't win. But I got a document with feedback from the judges. With some criticism, but plenty of compliments.
Was that enough for me? Ha! Of course not.
You see, I spent my childhood with my nose buried in books, dreaming about becoming one of my favorite authors someday. The thought of publishing something that wasn't perfect was terrifying. The risk of failure loomed too large.
So it sat in my files. Gathering digital dust.
After a couple months, I sent it to a publisher. They weren't interested.
A year later, I sent it to another publisher. They wanted it, but offered terms that made me wince.
I decided on Amazon self-publishing. But never actually did anything about it.
Then last year, I finally decided - that's IT! I'm doing this. I hired someone to create a book cover.
And then... a few months passed, my baby was born, I relaunched my copywriting career...
But along with that, I also - FINALLY - relaunched my book publishing efforts. Hired a typesetter, wrote a back cover blurb and finalized the title - Itzik: or a Tale of Troubles, Secrets and Adventures in Panama, 'Frisco and a Rough & Tumble Mining Camp.
And now it's ready to be uploaded to Amazon. I even created an ISBN already. Imagine that!
It's for real this time.
I'm terrified. There are soooo many insecurities bouncing around my brain and heart.
Sometimes the biggest obstacle between us and our dreams isn't external circumstances - it's our own perfectionism and fear.
I've spent TEN YEARS circling this dream, poking at it occasionally, then running away when it got too real.
But I'm gonna do this anyway.
Because at some point, you have to stop preparing to launch and just... launch.
Is there anything you've been pushing off out of fear? Hit reply and tell me all about - I'll be happy to commiserate.
Facing my fears (and hitting "publish"),
Chavy