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The Email
There is a biggish brand that hits my promo box each week,
And what can be the use of it is more than I can see.
It is very, very like the rest - from subject line to end,
And I usually hit delete on it, and rarely click to spend
The funniest thing about it is the way it likes to YELL -
As if every. Word. The. Brand. Can. Say. Is. A. Gripping. Bombshell.;
For it thinks that will get me to believe that THIS time it is real,
When every single “best sale ever” was followed by another deal.
It hasn't got a notion of how email ought to play,
And can only make a fool of itself in every sort of way.
It stays so loud and pesky, it’s a nuisance you can see;
I'd blush to send an email that vexing to my list from me!
But one morning, very early, before my coffee'd brewed,
A competitor's email told a tale that lifted up my mood;
And the pesky little SALE-mail, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Lost my purchase and my interest and stayed unread in bed.
(Here's where you can shake the pesky email trend.)
Don't be like Sale Mail,
Chavy
P.S. - here's the original poem by R.L. Stevenson:
The Shadow
I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.
The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.
He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!
One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
P.P.S. - this is a wink to my email yesterday. If you missed it: www.chavyhelfgott.com/archive/at-first-she-couldnt-stand-it